There’s a simple tool you can use to close out this year feeling light, inspired, and ready for your next leap. Tune in to hear about my decluttering practice and how it helps clear out anything that I’m simply tolerating.
We all put up with environments, behaviors, and relationships that drain our energy and take up space in our lives. What’s an area of your life that you’re simply tolerating right now?
An easy way to take stock of where you're settling is to evaluate your living space. Your home is often a metaphor for how you feel inside. Does everything look neat and clean, but the drawers and closets are pure chaos? When there’s clutter in your physical space, it often creates confusion and blinders. It’s harder to connect with yourself and really listen to that wise inner voice.
In this episode, I explore how this toleration practice has supported me in my health and healing journey. I also discuss how doing this work has improved other facets of my life, including my relationships and experience as a mother.
My challenge for you this week is to tackle an area of your living space that you’re tolerating. Maybe you’re like me and have a catch-all drawer, or maybe you have a chair in your room that’s become a second wardrobe. Whatever it is, chip away at it until it fills you with peace and joy when you see it.
Listen in to hear more about my favorite coaching tool that you can use to close out this year feeling light, inspired, and ready for your next leap.
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Dana Frost 00:07
Welcome to Vitally You, a podcast created to introduce you to the tools that will be your roadmap for feeling younger while growing older. I'm your host Dana frost, a wellness expert, life coach and energy medicine practitioner. Here's what you can expect conversations about vitality from the inside out with guest experts in the field of health, culture and spirituality and solo episodes along the way from me where I do deep dives into the topics of aging, heart intelligence, energy, medicine, and your innate capacity to heal. If you want to feel younger, while growing older, this is the place for you.
Dana Frost 00:53
Hi, everybody, this is Dana frost, your host coming to you this week for a solo episode from the sunny shores of Miami Beach, where Art Basel is in full force. So I was inspired for today's episode after a friend mentioned a lesson in a post that she had put on Facebook, a lesson that we learned from one of our mutual mentors, Rob Berkeley, Rob was the husband and soulmate of Debbie Phillips, founder of Women on fire a dear friend and also a cherished mentor of both of ours. Unfortunately, Rob is no longer with us in physical form, he lost a valiant battle with cancer. However, his legacy remains in the hearts and mindsets of a 1000s of people, his life touched and I happened to be one of them. He was instrumental in my decision to rest every day during my health crisis to heal adrenal fatigue. He walked me through a situation in my marriage where I had my heels dug in, and he helped me to see my way forward. He also shined a light on my light, and is partially responsible for my courage to start a podcast. Now, before we get started, this is going to be a short and sweet episode, I have a favor to ask of you. If you haven't already subscribed, if you haven't rated and reviewed my podcast and Apple, please do so. It would make me so happy.
Dana Frost 02:19
You can also go to Spotify and rate it and follow it on Spotify. I would really love to grow my show as the New Year approaches and every subscription, every download every rating contributes to that potential growth. I keep showing up every week and I need a little support from you. So please do those little favors for me and I thank you and it makes me really happy. So today what are we going to talk about today, we are going to talk about Rob's concept of tolerations the idea of toleration. So the term toleration comes from the Latin Tala rare I think I don't know how you pronounce that I never took Latin I studied French, for many years Spanish a little bit in Portuguese while I lived in Brazil for eight years. But in Latin, it means to put up with countenance or suffer generally refers to the conditional acceptance of or non interference with beliefs, actions or practices that one considers to be wrong, but still tolerable, such that they should not be prohibited or constrained.
Dana Frost 03:29
Now, I want to classify this conversation today by saying, I actually believe we need to be more tolerant of one another. From a cultural perspective, we've become too Trigger Happy, simply because people have different beliefs and lifestyles. We're triggered by small encounters with people who think and behave differently than us or things that we see on social media or in the news, and we just can bring it down and become more zen like and more tolerant of other people.
Dana Frost 04:05
The tolerations that Rob coached are far more personal, it's about you. And it's about what you tolerate in your own life. It's what you tolerate, even though it's a blood sucker and sucks the life right out of you. Now, I want you to think about something in your life that you tolerate, even though you don't like it. Even though it doesn't fit with who you are today. Even though every time you encounter it, your energy drains, even though you don't feel good around it or around the person, even though it's very presence brings up the desire for something different in you. If you have these scenarios in your life you're tolerating something that is begging you to be seen and transmuted for your highest good it's begging you see me look in my direction. You're totally right Meeting me, let's switch this up. So I'm going to give you a silly example from my own life from last week. And by the way, nothing is too silly. But this is an example that's kind of simplistic, but actually was very meaningful for me. So you all know that I am a patch pusher. And that would be the lifewave patches, there are light therapy patches that look like a simple Band Aid, you stick the patch on acupoints.
Dana Frost 05:26
And the nano crystals in the patch, reflect the light in your body, and communicate with your brain through your energy body or the lines of energy that run throughout your whole mind body system. And just for your information, your energy body is hundreds of times faster than your nervous system, which is one reason why traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture are so effective. The brain receives the message from the patch to the energy body and activate biological chips. Okay, so that's just a little background on these patches that I use. And I will confess the patch pusher, I use all the patches and there are 11 different kinds of patches that activate different biological processes. So I have a sleeve I have, let's say a drawer of patches. In my Chicago home. I have a drawer patches in Miami Beach, and I have a pouch that has patches for travel. Yes, I am the patch pusher. So I patch in the morning. I'm a patch at night. So I've been in Chicago over the past six months and my patch drawer, the place in my bathroom where I store the patches. It started as a catch all when we moved into our condo in 2018. Well, I've been catching a lot of items, including the badges and the drawer and I will tell you it was a cluster fu CK it was a tangled mess. And I just kept tolerating that it was just a disaster.
Dana Frost 07:01
I kept all my empty sleeves along with the little pamphlets that accompany the sleeve, along with a bunch of other random items. This drawer I've never organized it since I moved in in 2019. I just kept piling more items in. Okay, last spy, I will tell you, it started to become the situation I would open the drawer. And I'm having to ruffle rifle ruffle whatever rifle ruffled through everything to find the right patch for the moment. And I started thinking these patches, it's high vibrational technology, they're really special. And everybody can have access to the patches. But not everybody is using the patches now and they've done amazing things for my body and my strength and my aging process. And they deserve to be well cared for not sloppily tossed in a drawer, where I'm fumbling through to find what I need. And I remember this was a couple weeks ago that saying how you treat anything is how you treat everything. This gets back to toleration. So this might sound silly, but I was tolerating messiness and disorganization. Every time I open the drawer, and I open that drawer for the patches twice a day in the morning, and before I go to bed, I really was feeling you know, my energy was just jolted when I was like trying to get my patches.
Dana Frost 08:27
So last week, before I left, I organized the drawer and I have to tell you, every time I opened the door, I felt amazing. And it was just so it's such a simple thing, but it was so liberating. And I know I get this is a high class problem. But nonetheless, any toleration on a personal level requires your attention, any toleration but I felt so great about that drawer being organized and most of my things are organized. When I came to Miami, I started organizing things that I had allowed to be disorganized in Miami. Now I'm sure if you do a walk around your living space, you're going to also find areas where you have these tolerations because your living space, it is an excellent starting point when we're talking about tolerations. So years ago, when I did my life coach training with Dr. Martha Beck, she taught this amazing coaching tool called your home. I don't know if it's called your home is a metaphor. But the basic idea is your home is a metaphor. And I will tell you that it's a metaphor for your internal life how you feel. On the inside, you can see that represented in your living space. And I remember this was years ago, I remember starting with a new client, a new coaching client and I start with different tools but we were in the very early phases of coaching and knowing her situation I felt it very appropriate and important to do that your home is a metaphor coaching tool. But I could feel that she didn't think the tool was something worth paying for. It seemed way too simplistic.
Dana Frost 10:07
As is really, you know, she didn't say that, but I could feel her resistance. And I knew that actually, this would be the catalyst. If she would walk through her home and just see the metaphor for how her inner terrain was showing up in her living space, I knew that it would be a catalyst that would help her go deeper. Actually, we didn't get that opportunity, she was not a great a great client fit for me. And that was okay. But what I want you to know is that you need an entry point for transformation. And if you're not willing to look at your living space, you're far less likely to look at the things in your life that require a deeper level of courage and bravery. What you see, and tolerate in your living space speaks volumes about how you feel on the inside. And nothing is too small or seemingly too meaningless for your curiosity around this idea of tolerations. When you take dominion over your physical spaces, you are far more likely to take dominion over the tolerations that I think I already said this, actually I do. When I am podcasting, it's always really helpful to have a little script, but I think it warrants saying it again, when you take dominion over the physical spaces in your life, you are far more likely to take dominion over the tolerations that have a greater impact on the quality of your life.
Dana Frost 11:37
If you remember last week, I had Holly Getty the amazing life styled genius. She talked about the power of how we present ourselves in our clothing and outerwear, and the positive energy we can create with aesthetics by first discovering what makes us feel beautiful on the inside these tolerations when it comes to how we clothe ourselves, they are really important the tolerations in terms of our outward appearance, especially if you think about post pandemic, the attitude is any old comfortable pants will do. But I want to ask you Do you love those pants? If so, awesome. Rock those pants. If you love them, and you feel amazing in them, that's great. If not stop tolerating them and put something on that's going to make you feel amazing. I believe my experience has taught me and I believe this the inside and outside both matter. It's not either or both contribute to our overall well being. We think that the outside is trivial, but it's not trivial. The spaces that we live in, do we make our bed every day when we open doors? Is there clutter? How do our surfaces appear? What is our desk look like? All these things really contribute because where there is clutter, the mind is easily cluttered as well. tolerations create confusions and blinders.
Dana Frost 13:02
Just as I didn't know exactly I didn't have my finger on the pulse of how many life wave sleeves I had in my drawer when I cleaned them out. Some are empty, some are full. Seriously, the drawer just was a Shi T show it was just an absolute mess. tolerations cloud your ability to see clearly tolerations are life's clutter. Look at the tolerations to learn how you settle for a lesser than wonderful life, a less than life a life that you it doesn't feel abundant. It's not fully what you want. What you tolerate, actually just takes up space in your life. So we know this is what I would say the clutter has to go. If you want to expand the tolerations have to go to bring in something new, you must clear what isn't serving you. And you can start with a tolerations I can remember time in my life when I tolerated a totally less than desirable relationship with one of my children. I mean, it really sucked the life out of me. And I didn't have the energy to do the work until I realized I just had no choice. Accepting the relationship as it was was in tolerable. I grew in leaps and bounds when I started seeing a therapist to help me resolve what I was holding on to in the relationship. It wasn't about the other person.
Dana Frost 14:36
Always the work is for you to do it's what you're tolerating and the other person on many instances the other person doesn't have to be involved when you are clearing up what you're tolerating in a relationship because the internal the work is your internal work to do if you do your internal work and switch out transmute what you're tolerating I promise you the energy of that other person will just seamlessly move into alignment. So in this very short episode, I asked you, what are you tolerating? Because today is the day to choose one area of toleration and get the thing done. I think, at least if you follow me on Instagram, you might have caught I posted about my friend's podcast. She makes waves Lindsey, my Hugo has a podcast and I think the episode is actually get the thing done, and it's an excellent episode. So today is the day choose one area, choose one thing in your living space that you're tolerating and deal with it. I know that you have a drawer or a closet that can be cleaned out, you can just choose one, it's easy to deal with one drawer. Pick the low hanging fruit first, always pick the low hanging fruit first, that positive energy that you gain will provide the impetus to move on to the next toleration, I promise you, you just have to start. And then when you start that it's going to be a snowball effect. And before you know it, you are in the heart of the matter. The heart of the toleration is in your own heart, and you're able to move through those. Before you know it, you'll be walking in to 2023 lighter and inspired and ready for your next leap. So my friends, that's what I have for you today, this little idea that's extraordinarily deep, of tolerations from my mentor, Rob Berkeley. Let me know send me an email. I love hearing from you. Let me know what is the drawer that you cleaned out? What's the thing in your living space that you cleaned out? After you listen to this podcast? Let me know. I'd love to hear it. If you have the courage, put it on an Instagram story posted on Facebook and tag me. That would be delightful.
Dana Frost 17:03
Thank you for joining me on this week's episode of The vitally you podcast. If you are enjoying these episodes, you know the drill please subscribe, download, share it with your friends, make my heart seeing and enjoy this holiday season. Take every moment to just be present with yourself. Tune in to your breath while you're doing your breath. It's your grounding for us. It's that connection between your body and your soul. Tune into your breathing guide it to be deep, slow, quiet and regular. And invite the breath to flow to and from the heart center with the feeling of inner ears. And until next week. As always, I am streaming love, from my heart to yours