Humanity is truly in crisis. Listen in to hear my reflection on how we can collectively heal.
In my last solo episode, I shared my thoughts about leaning in and healing humanity. The recent school massacre at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas is further proof that humanity is truly in crisis. Different political parties will go back and forth about gun laws, but that’s only part of the solution. What we really need is to restore strong family dynamics, nurturing conversations, and undivided attention with our loved ones.
I share a story in today’s episode about the strenuous relationship that I had with my youngest daughter during her pre-teen years. I eventually pursued counseling and learned how my own trauma was interacting with hers. The therapeutic process saved me, and therefore saved my family. We were able to have transparent, authentic conversations, albeit difficult at times, but the way that I showed up for her demonstrated that I cared for her wellbeing. Unfortunately, so many young people don’t have that dynamic anywhere in their lives.
How can we collectively create a safe space for all humans? I challenge you to start with where you have influence in the world一in your own home. We are all a work in progress and we simply need to get started. Listen in to hear my reflection on how we can collectively heal humanity.
Email me at dana@danafrost.com and let me know what your thoughts are. How are you feeling and how are you healing?
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[00:00:00] Dana Frost: Welcome to Vitally You, a podcast created to introduce you to the tools that will be your roadmap for feeling younger while growing older. I'm your host, Dana Frost, a wellness expert, life coach and energy medicine practitioner. Here's what you can expect: conversations about vitality from the inside out with guests experts in the field of health, culture, and spirituality.
[00:00:24] And solo episodes along the way from me, where I do deep dives into the topics of aging, heart intelligence, energy medicine, and your innate capacity to heal. If you want to feel younger while growing older, this is the place for you.
[00:00:41] Welcome everybody to the vital you podcast. This is Dana and I am coming to you this week. Solo. This is going to be a short episode. I really wanted to go back and reference my solo episode two weeks ago on leaning in and healing humanity in the U S we are once again, confronted with a horrific school shooting.
[00:01:02] How in the world do we calm the fears of parents across the nation? When they send their kids off to school? I really believe the human is in crisis and there is no feeling younger while growing older. If the human is not safe and our children cannot even go to school without the fear of horrific harm and anyone's worst nightmare.
[00:01:28] Last night, I watched the grandfather of the shooter address a reporter. Maybe you've seen this clip. My heart goes out to him. He was in shock. And I want to talk about what strikes me. And many of the mass shootings by young people, the adult in the home was oblivious to the guns and the deprived thoughts of their young person.
[00:01:52] We can talk about gun control and it is a vitally important component, but in isolation, it doesn't prevent violence. Illinois has some of the strictest gun laws in the country and yet assault weapons. Like the one used can still be. Why are assault weapons available? Anyway, that's just so easy. Let's just ban them.
[00:02:12] But if you read the headlines about gun violence in Chicago, gun laws are only part of the solution. As I mentioned in my previous solo episode. Humanity will be healed. First on the micro level friend of friend, sister, and brother, mom, and dad, or grandma and grandpa, and the children conversations around the dinner table, regular touchpoints, parents and guardians.
[00:02:41] Being aware of what's happening in the lives of their children. This isn't in any way to put blame on the grandfather. This is just really thinking about what are our solutions, how do we move forward in a way that's going to be productive? So I'm sharing my thoughts today. Children and teenagers need supervision.
[00:03:02] They need interaction. They need a sounding board for their fears and their dreams. In my previous episode, I referenced the underdeveloped bodies of our two adopted children when we adopted them. And I talked about how without, without attention and care and interaction, the physical body just goes, it goes flacid.
[00:03:26] It's the muscles don't develop. You don't get fat on your bones. Well, without attention, the emotional and mental bodies also suffer. I'm going to share something that I've never shared publicly, because I believe it's worthy. At this time in this conversation as you listeners, most of you listeners now, unless this is your first episode, we adopted two children while living in Brazil.
[00:03:54] They were three and five at the time of our adoption and they were brother and sister by their biological mother. They had experienced significant early childhood trauma. And my relationship with our daughter was strenuous and I am not proud of the ugliness that came from me. As I attempted to parent her.
[00:04:16] I have not been quiet about my struggle with my feelings of rage, because it nearly killed me. Well, five years after we adopted, we repatriated to the U S after a brief stent in Switzerland. And I will tell you, I was convinced at some point I would give myself a break by sending her to a boarding home, a boarding school, rather not at home.
[00:04:38] I was tired and I'm sure she was also exhausted. I didn't think I knew I wasn't the only one who needed a timeout. I knew she probably did as well. And I thought this would both serve us. I thought it was her, both of us, actually the dynamic between us was a heavyweight on our family. Until I got help to therapy.
[00:05:01] And I want to say for the Christians and the religious in the audience, and we see this when we have a big tragedy, pray, pray for the situation. Well, prayer is powerful and I experienced its power in my own life, but there are situations that require professional help. Prayer played a role in supporting us, but eventually you really have to call in the professional troops.
[00:05:25] And so when I found myself back in the U S. I pursued counseling and I, I started with a very wise experienced therapist in Evanston, Illinois. Dr. Rebecca, Dr. Rebecca was near retirement. Am I ever grateful that she was still around for me? Because to this day I credit her with saving me and. Therefore saving the family.
[00:05:52] I began to understand how my own trauma was interacting with my daughter's trauma. And I began to get ahead of my triggers in our relationship. And eventually Dr. Rebecca recommended a therapist for my daughter. Now I made it clear to my daughter's therapist, Dr. Beth, also another saving grace in the life of our family.
[00:06:12] That my intent was to send our daughter to boarding school in the coming one to two years. Even though at this point, I was no longer triggered in the relationship. The situation remained challenging Dr. Beth, oh, Dr. Beth in her infinite wisdom, polluted with us to trust her and the process because what our daughter needed above all else is our home, our family, a family and conversations that only happen when you are living together and daily.
[00:06:45] She urged us that as our daughter matured into her teenage years, she would need the protection of a home even more than before. If she chose to rebel, she said that institutions are no substitute for the dynamics of a family, that an institution would be going backward for our daughter that it's truly survival of the fittest, even in the very best of boarding schools.
[00:07:10] Well, I agreed to trust Dr. Beth, I really had nothing to lose. I decided to lean in and to continue to learn from her and allow the therapeutic relationship to progress as each year passed. I realized Dr. Beth was right. We would go on to have many conversations about life with our daughter, many transparent, authentic, open communications.
[00:07:35] Some I wish I wasn't having, but I knew I trusted Dr. Beth. I knew they were all valuable. We were never perfect in our parenting, but we did try to show up as best as we could to be in service to her growth and development as a human and a young woman. I'm sharing this story to say that I know life can be very hard on the micro level in relationships because we're imperfect humans in families where we all have stressors that are breathing down our backs, but life on the micro level is truly the way we heal.
[00:08:11] Uh, family doesn't have to look like our family, where there is a mom and a dad and kids know a family is where people live together. They do life together and they are committed to one another. Regardless of the stressors, a family provides the seeds of unconditional love. And these seeds of unconditional love are the antidote to the pressures of the modern world.
[00:08:38] Now wouldn't it be great if families were provided the mental health and emotional support needed that we were able to provide for hours. So I understand the gun control conversation and it's necessary, but it's only scratching the surface of what's really happening in our society. It's an important conversation in our country, but we need to go deeper.
[00:09:05] We need to go to the root cause. Our young people need adults who care and who will spend themselves on behalf of their wellbeing. We need more leaning in more conversations, more transparent, authentic, and open communication. Now let's go back to the school massacre. I've heard several people say that the shooter was quiet and rarely said anything.
[00:09:31] This came from his grandfather and his workplace. His grandfather said that he stayed in his room alone most of the time and that they never really talked. And we'd really don't know why we have no idea what the dynamics in that home were. But here in lies our collective challenge, we need to take a serious look at how we are living community.
[00:09:52] We need to set aside distractions and restore conversations. We need to see, hear and acknowledge one another. With our hearts wide open, we need to have a hard stop, a hard stop on bullying, judging and hating demonstrated first on a macro level. And yes, I am. You directly in the eye, you, the media and politicians, you are complicit in the hatred that is spewed your algorithms and obsessions with winning at all costs are despicable.
[00:10:29] And I will end with this humanity, a smart, the human heart heals and seeks homeostasis, the soul seeks connection. However, there is one prerequisite and that is safety. We know that hurt people, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people. Look, I was hurting and my daughter was hurting. Therefore we hurt one another.
[00:10:55] Ideally the adult in the room heals their trauma, so they don't hurt the child, but we are all a work in progress and we simply need to get started. How can we collectively create a safe space for all humans? The task feels insurmountable of the tragedy we face today. But we can each focus on where we have influence in the world.
[00:11:18] That's where we start. Where do you have influence in the world? Are you with me? What's one action. You can take to create a ripple effect of safety for the human. I would love to hear from you. What are your thoughts at this point in time in our history? I would love send me an email@danaatdanafrost.com.
[00:11:41] Let me know what your thoughts, how are you feeling? How are you healing? I am here for you and I am here for myself and I am here for the collective. And I want to thank you for joining me on this very short, heartfelt episode of the vital you podcast. If you are enjoying my episodes, I have only one favor.
[00:12:01] Please hit subscribe, download and share this with your friends. You will delight me. If you leave a review, subscriptions and reviews are the metrics apple uses to push a podcast through the digital traffic. We do have a winner this month of a sleeve of Ian patches. And it is from actually someone I know she's a dear friend and she says, she's Casey, J w.
[00:12:34] An important life goal of mine is to age well and stay young in mind by the end of. Dana's advice and expertise coupled with amazing guests. Make this a top podcast of mine. Thank you. You have won a sleeve of Ian patches and I will be sending them as soon as I returned from Europe. As I have recorded this episode more than a week in advance, I am heading off to Europe with my husband and my three daughters for a little vacation, and I will get the sleeve of Ian to you as soon as.
[00:13:08] As always, I am sending and streaming love from my heart to yours. Thank you so much for joining me on the vitally you podcast. .