What would you change in your life if you decided to let go of what you “should” do and move towards what you desire? During the holidays, it can be easy to lose sight of what the season is really about and get overwhelmed with the responsibilities and expectations. It’s crucial to tap into what your body is telling you and prioritize what you need in order to stay present. On today’s episode, I’m giving you tips for how to take an internal pause and find your islands of respite during this busy time.
For many of us, the end of the year can bring up a lot of emotions and stress. When we’re in fight or flight mode, the mind cannot see possibility–it only sees catastrophe. Most people don’t give themselves sufficient space for all of the things on their to-do list. Between travel plans, shopping lists, and in my case, setting up our condo in Miami for Thanksgiving, it’s safe to say that I was feeling overwhelmed.
I noticed that my mind was racing and my body was giving me all sorts of signs to slow down. But instead of leaning into that stress, I found my island of respite. There’s real power in cushioning between events and responsibilities. Even a little bit of space provides the opportunity to reset and refocus on what’s actually important during the holidays.
So, I gave myself permission to rearrange plans and focus on the details that were in my control. And guess what? Things are turning out exactly as they were meant to. The universe has a funny way of doing that. On today’s episode, I share how you can create boundaries around your islands of respite so that you can show up whole for yourself and your family this holiday season.
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[00:00:00] Dana Frost: Welcome to Vitally You®, a podcast created to introduce you to the tools that will be your roadmap for feeling younger while growing older. I'm your host, Dana Frost, a wellness expert, life coach, and energy medicine practitioner. Here's what you can expect: conversations about vitality from the inside out with guests experts in the field of health, culture, and spirituality. And solo episodes along the way from me, where I do deep dives into the topics of aging, heart intelligence, energy medicine, and your innate capacity to heal. If you want to feel younger while growing older, this is the place for you.
[00:00:52] Hi everyone. This is Dana and I am coming to you with another solo episode. Let's get a little bit personal. So how many of you get a little nervous as the holiday season? Ramps up. Go ahead, raise a hand. Nod your head. Shout. Amen. I see you. So on Sunday this week, I was driving home to Miami from the LightWave international convention in Orlando.
[00:01:20] I was coming off the heels of spinning multiple plates. The plates were in momentum, spinning faster and faster, and I was feeling tired, overwhelmed, and anxious. My breathing was becoming more shallow shortened. My body was taking sips of air and set of long, slow, deep study and Hills. This is one of the first signs that I need to stop.
[00:01:45] Pause, get curious about what's happening. Each one of you has a pattern of how your body will tell you when enough is enough. I'm here to tell you you need to pay attention. I had already gotten a chest cold right after my car died. You might remember that if you listened to last week's episode, don't be fooled and believe the physical is just physical.
[00:02:06] It's not, it's your body talking to you. If you're manifesting dis-ease your body is trying to get your attention. I don't know your body language, but I know mine and you need to know yours. It's your personalized compass. If you ignore it, it will demand to be heard. If you've had a health crisis, whether it's physical, mental, or emotional, you know what I'm talking about?
[00:02:30] Crises won't be ignored. So on Sunday as I'm driving home, I feel anxiety rising. I was supposed to be on a flight to Missouri to visit my mom the next morning to spend the week with her. So this was my self-talk. How am I going to get everything done? Let's say you've all been there before. Then I quickly go to, I can do this.
[00:02:54] I'll spring into action. As soon as I get to my condo, the next moment I'm tired. I really just want to go for a walk and be outside after having spent two full days in. I try to quiet the self-talk with slow, regular, quiet, deep breathing. If you've been my client or attended one of my retreats, hopefully you recognize those four qualities of a healthy breath, deep, slow, quiet, and regular.
[00:03:20] I add onto that heart focused breathing with a feeling of inner ease. If you know my work, you know, that. I'm pulling out all my tools to calm the body down and the body does respond, but not totally. I get back to my condo. There's a mound of boxes that I have to lug up from receiving. I bring them up, I unload them and they're just waiting to be unpacked.
[00:03:47] They're full of dishes, storage containers, all the things you need when you're setting up a new home. My mind reminds me that as soon as I get back from Missouri, my family will already be there for the holiday. And I'm not finished hunting and gathering for Thanksgiving details. Keep popping into my head.
[00:04:06] This is funny one, the gravy boat. Oh my goodness. I don't have a gravy boat, a cutting board, large enough to carve a Turkey. I needed large cutting board. All those things are rushing into my. First-world problems for sure, but that doesn't stop them from tormenting the heck out of me, my mom calls in the midst of all this as I'm unpacking the boxes and asks if I'm still arriving tomorrow.
[00:04:32] Cause she hasn't heard from me. Of course she hasn't heard from me cause I've kind of been busy. I explained that I've been busy. I haven't had time to call. I admit to her that I feel stressed and I explain what's going on. She suggests that I canceled my visit and I quickly respond, well, I can't do that.
[00:04:50] I want to visit you. And, you know, she says, I don't want you to feel stressed, which I would say that to my daughters as well, but I've got to tell you her simple comment of, well, why don't you cancel your visit? She did something remarkable. She opened a window so that I could see possibilities. My ego mind didn't want to cancel.
[00:05:14] My heart felt like it wanted to visit my mom before the holiday set in because she's not going to travel to be with us. And I wanted to spend time with her. We hung up the phone and I thought, Hmm. Internal pause. What options do I have? This was not my first time to the rodeo of being overwhelmed.
[00:05:31] Remember I raised five kids and my husband traveled all the time and I know what happens when I push myself. Fatigue is always my wake up moment. Always, always, always my wake up moment. I've learned the power of cushioning between events, between responsibilities and how even a little bit of space provides the opportunity to reset.
[00:05:55] In my coaching practice, I referred to these little timeouts as islands of respite. Well, my thoughts keep racing as I unpack boxes, but this time it moves towards solution and possibility. What if I changed my fight and gave myself a little more time to wrap up what needs to be completed before? I quickly opened my Southwest app, checked on flights.
[00:06:19] Boom. There was a non-stop flight that gave me two full days to finish up here for a nominal fee booked immediately. I felt lighter, brighter the body. Let go. I happily unpack those boxes. I'm sharing the story with you because I have learned. Most women do not give themselves sufficient space for all they're trying to accomplish.
[00:06:40] And I would include, at least I would include my husband on that. I don't I've coached some men, but not a lot of men, but for my husband, he seems to thrive on constant activity. So I can't, he doesn't seem to need that space. But when your hustle is closing in and you no longer feel energized by it, it's time to find yourself an island.
[00:07:03] Are you in need of an island of respite before the holidays everyone's island of respite looks differently, but ask yourself, what do I need to feel refreshed? How can I rearrange to accommodate stay open to possibility if we're in fight and flight, like I was the mind cannot see possibility. It only sees catastrophe.
[00:07:26] Let me repeat that when we are in fight and flight. The mind cannot see possibility at only sees catastrophe. So I invite you to give yourself permission to follow through and create a boundary around your island of respite. You might need to lock yourself in a room for 30 minutes. I've done that before and you know what it felt great because you are putting a protective boundary and you're telling your inner self that you're willing to see it to be with it, to sit with it, to give it the space at.
[00:08:00] You also might need many islands of respite during the holidays, little timeouts to refuel. This can be five minutes where you just turn inward and be with yourself pre during and after the holidays are excellent times to reset rejuvenate, refuel, restore. Yes. All the RS, all the RS in there. So, let me tell you how my story ended.
[00:08:27] I never traveled. If you can believe that the next day, my mom calls me and she says, my brother who lives with her suspects, that he has COVID to make a long story short. The whole trip was postponed. I gained an entire reset. Now there's an important Juul in this situation. And it applies to all of us, where do we obey the sheds in our life instead of following what is really true on the insight and what we really need.
[00:08:58] I'm going to be honest with you. I wouldn't have given myself this week. Because I was living under the belief that I should visit my mom. Yes. Part of me wanted to, but the reality was that I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I actually have the option to cancel. We always have the option, but my belief was that not what a good daughter would do when we function from, should we step out of integrity with ourselves?
[00:09:26] And there are consequences for living out of integrity. I've been following this integrity issue with curiosity in my own life for 15 years. And I'm still unwinding my tendency towards sheds instead of deep desire. Will you join me in remaining curious about how should is showing up in your life? What would you change if you decided to let go of should and move towards desire?
[00:09:54] The holiday season is an excellent opportunity. Please share with me how this is playing out for you. I would love to connect with you around the topic of should versus desire. You will feel younger growing older. If you clean up the sheds in your life and lean into it. Until next episode as always, I am streaming love from my heart to yours.
[00:10:24] Thank you for joining me on the vital you podcast. If you like it, please spread the love with a review and share it with your friends as a thank you for the first three months of my podcast, one reviewer each month will be selected to win a sleeve of Lifeway X 39 stem cell activation. Lifeways X 39 patch is the only product on the market that resets the body's own stem cells.
[00:10:50] So they behave like younger, healthier cells without injections, chemicals, or pharmaceuticals, experience the power of the patch on your journey of feeling younger. While growing older, to be entered, to win, leave a review, screenshot your review and send it to dana@danafrost.com. Or pop it into a direct message on Instagram at Dana frost, vitally free.
[00:11:15] Don't miss a Vitally You® episode drop sign up for my newsletter on my website or Instagram link tree and tell next time streaming love from my heart to yours.