Welcome to this week’s episode of The Vitally You® Podcast. In today's episode, we are going to discuss the healing journey during midlife and beyond. There is nobody better to talk about this topic with than Mary Beth Gudewicz, a Functional Nutrition Therapist board certified in holistic nutrition and creates bio-individual nutrition and lifestyle plans for people who have not reached their highest quality of life. Mary Beth sees clients who have complex health challenges ranging from chronic fatigue, autoimmune disorders, digestive orders, to food sensitivities. She sees these physical manifestations as opportunities to evolve and harness the power of life experience upon arrival to midlife. Join us as we speak to her about holistic approaches to nutrition that build on the mind-body connection.
When we learn new things, we feel afraid. We feel nervous, we stumble. It's just like a child learning how to walk. And this journey is not the same for everyone but is fundamental for understanding how we operate and interact with the world around us. The process of aging is much like this, there are highs and there are lows. It is how we deal with the emotional turmoil that makes us unique, bio-individuals.
Joining us on today’s episode is Mary Beth Gudewicz, a Functional Nutrition Therapist who is board certified in holistic nutrition and creates bio-individual nutrition and lifestyle plans for people who have not reached their highest quality of life. Mary Beth sees clients who have complex health challenges related to chronic fatigue, autoimmune disorders, digestive orders, and food sensitivities. She sees these physical manifestations as opportunities to evolve and harness the power of life experience upon arrival to midlife. She speaks to us about her journey through life and how she helps her clients through tricky transition phases, or what she deems our ‘Sandwich Years’.
Listen to today’s episode as we speak to Mary Beth about holistic health and approaches to nutrition that allows us to fortify the mind-body connection. We also discuss several tools and techniques which she shares with her clients, such as journaling and meditation. Join us for an exciting conversation on The Vitally You® Podcast which is guaranteed to have you sitting at the edge of your seat.
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[00:00:00] Dana Frost: Welcome everybody to the Vitally You® Podcast. I would like to welcome Mary Beth Gudewicz. Mary Beth is a Master Nutrition Therapist among other certifications, including my colleague as a functional nutrition and lifestyle practitioner. In today's episode, we are going to talk about the healing journey during midlife and beyond.
If you're going to feel younger while growing older, our health is vitally important. Mary Beth sees clients who have complex health challenges related to chronic fatigue, autoimmune disorders, digestive orders, and food sensitivities. She sees these physical manifestations as opportunities to evolve and harness the power of life experience as upon arrival to midlife. She is no less than a functional nutrition guru, but it's not her multiple certifications that make her unique. Know, as my colleague, I can tell you it is her empathetic and kind approach that is backed with a deep understanding of the healing process. So welcome Mary Beth.
[00:01:13] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Thank you Dana, for having me.
[00:01:15] Dana Frost: Well, it's such a pleasure to have you and you know, Mary Beth, I know that you are working with clients who have these complex health issues during midlife and I really appreciate your perspective that those manifestations are really opportunities to evolve. And can you just speak into what you see with your clients as they come to the stage of midlife and they're faced with these health challenge?
[00:01:45] Mary Beth Gudewicz: One of the first things I see when they come to me is their frustration and anger at feeling this way. Like why is my body starting to give out? And I think when you start, when I start to dig in with them, the physical is the last place it's showing up. So we are then backtracking into what got you there in the first place.
And a lot of people, in fact, fear that getting old too, so their body's starting to shift and they're thinking, oh my gosh, I'm heading like my parents or my uncle. And they kind of stop themselves and they realize something's not right. So I always will tell them first thing, you're in the right place.
Let's start getting underneath what's going on.
[00:02:31] Dana Frost: I really love that. That's really speaks into what I said about you. This empathetic approach. People really need to be seen and heard and understood, and especially when the body is breaking down. And so I love that you say you just put them at ease, you're in the right place.
That feels very comforting. And where do you go from there Mary Beth?
[00:02:58] Mary Beth Gudewicz: So then what I usually do, you know, the normal process of getting the complete history and in that are the nuggets. The little pieces, that place of why they're sitting, where they're sitting and how to shift out of that. It's really a buildup of what's happened over time.
That's led them to where they're sitting and then moments. And I always tell them, tell me everything, because what they think is minor is actually something pretty major for me. So it's a key into where they're sitting in that moment and why they're sitting in that moment.
[00:03:43] Dana Frost: Yeah. So what are some of the reasons why? Now I know that from our perspective, it's very, it's different for each person, but can you just broadly for our audience speak into some of the reasons why you come to the stage, maybe in your forties or in your fifties, and you're having these complex health issues.
[00:04:06] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Yeah, great question. It's a lot of pieces. It can be a childhood trauma. It can be a carry over of the shoes that they've never resolved. That deal around anger, judgment, or fear that builds into the body over time. For some of them, it is that deep fear of getting. And it starting to manifest in their body where they're believing it down to the cellular level, oh, this is what's going on.
And it, and keep in mind like the childhood traumas and that fear, judgment and anger that we, we live with, that we grow with. It settles down into that cellular level where you believe it on that deeper level, that this is true and it's uncommon.
[00:04:52] Dana Frost: Yeah. So what I hear you saying is long held patterns or beliefs.
[00:04:58] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And those will sit in your body.
[00:05:04] Dana Frost: And so it's really, it's not just looking at what's going on, physically.
[00:05:11] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Not at all.
[00:05:12] Dana Frost: Yeah. That's where, when you talk about the opportunity to evolve. So many times we don't see, we don't see something until it does become physical because we live in a very physical, tangible reality.
And so we don't see it until it gets manifested physically. And then that physical challenge is the opportunity to see, what is the pattern? What are the beliefs? What were possibly the traumas that I haven't had the time, quite frankly, the body is so skilled at protecting us. And you know, if we look at childhood adolescence, young adulthood, then you start building whatever your adult life is.
And many times we're, as my husband says, chasing, like I spent years chasing and chasing, and it's not until you come to this midlife where you. Maybe take a deep breath, settle down and then, you know, look at what's really going on. Would you agree with that, Mary Beth? Do you have anything?
[00:06:18] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Yes, I completely agree with that.
I think part of the society we live in is go, go, go, right? Oh, I'll deal with that later. I'll deal with that later. I'll deal with that later. And like you said, it builds up and builds up in the system, but I also think it's a choice not to stop and look. And I think we have that power of choice when they come to me at that point, they have made the choice, but you're right.
I think we get so busy and we think, oh, I'm fine. I'm okay. This is how it's supposed to be in life. And it builds and builds and builds until you are at that point where physically you are not well. And you know, you are not.
[00:06:58] Dana Frost: Yeah.
And just to reference the book, The Body Keeps Score for our listeners. If they haven't heard of that book, it really talks about this idea of the accumulation of the things that we've experienced in life that have been trauma.
That could be on the scale. It doesn't have to be all different levels of trauma and the body, it's the library of everything that's ever happened to us. And depending upon what that load is, the body will break down here.
[00:07:28] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Absolutely.
[00:07:29] Dana Frost: Yeah. So what are some of the pattern beliefs that tend to pile up for a person? Let's talk about that. Just, just so the listeners, as they're thinking about themselves and what they might be experiencing, what are some of the beliefs for them to pay attention to?
[00:07:50] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Um, some of the beliefs I tend to see are, is 'I'm not good enough'. That's a big one that people have, and they don't even realize that one.
But when we start unlayering, that's a big one. I'm not good at it. I'm not worthy. There's another one, 'I'm angry' and they don't know why what's under anger. Those are some of the biggest ones. I see. Another one that I see is 'I'm not visible'. They are just feeling like they're not seen and being seen and heard.
[00:08:25] Dana Frost: Those are from my perspective and experience two of the most powerful needs of every human to be seen, to be heard.
[00:08:34] Mary Beth Gudewicz: True. Absolutely true. And when they've not allowed themselves to step into who they are, because underneath, they're not seen and they're not heard, it's pretty powerful when they kind of work through it and they come to that 'aha' moment.
[00:08:48] Dana Frost: So Mary Beth, what are some of the tools that you utilize to help people work through those deeply held beliefs?
[00:08:59] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Great question. I work on the physical piece, along with the deeply emotional pieces that I work through on this. I do a lot of work around journaling, so I will create questions that they will examine and work on in between sessions to work through some of these deeper issues.
It's where they get a lot of their aha.
[00:09:22] Dana Frost: Do you mind sharing like two questions to journal questions for our listeners?
[00:09:28] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Absolutely. One is what is an emotional trigger for you and how do you resolve it? So I always have not just a question of what is this, but how do you deal with it? The second is, if I have somebody with like a thyroid issue, I'll be like, re-examine your life and see where in your life you have not spoken your truth.
And we then discuss that and work through that piece. And then we go deeper into questioning based upon their response with that. So journaling is really, really big one for me. I also do a lot of recorded visualization work to help them work into being back in their body.
[00:10:14] Dana Frost: Yes, because we know that the body keeps score in the body is in continual, wants to be in continual conversation with us.
And part of the way it's in conversation with us is by breaking down to get our attention. And then we start to have a conversation because we want to heal. We want to feel better. And I love that you talk about if it's a thyroid issue to explore the voice at what needs to be expressed from a vocal perspective, because if we look at the shakras, that's the energy of that energy system in the body.
And so it sounds like you're really helping people tap into the energy of whatever the organ or the system in the body, whatever has happened. What that representation, the energetic representation of that region of the body is from like a metaphysical perspective.
[00:11:09] Mary Beth Gudewicz: It's true. It's amazing physically where it settles, like for example, people that have a ton of digestive issues, they're not stepping into their power.
So we will explore where is their power in their life or where have they been given it away? It's amazing how the body speaks to those energy systems and how it is interrelated.
[00:11:29] Dana Frost: It is. And so, you know, we learned in our training that it's not always just what you eat, but it's what your body can do with what you eat.
And so when we're talking about complex physical challenges and how the body's responding, if there is this dysbiosis, which is connected with the energy, the emotions we could be having the most, you know, supreme nutritional intake. And yet the body would not be able to metabolize, process, and utilize. I don't know, that just kind of came up for me, the importance of when we're looking at physical issues that we can use food, but we've got to really dig in and see what's going on underneath, as you mentioned earlier.
[00:12:19] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Correct. And along with that too, a lot of people will be blocked in certain areas. Which again, that doesn't allow that assimilation and that those nutrients to get where they need to go. So you have to see where those blocks are and start moving those blocks away as well.
[00:12:37] Dana Frost: Something you said before that I thought was really interesting.
What you see with clients, and I see this too, I want to look and feel younger. And do you know, this podcast is all about feeling younger, growing older, and it doesn't necessarily mean looking younger, growing older. I think that if we feel younger, as we grow older, there's a countenance that comes from within and it glows externally. But it doesn't mean that maybe we don't have wrinkles or that we don't, you know, look like we are indeed 55 when we're 55. So I think that culturally we've been trained to chase how we look and feel on the outside. And this work that you're talking about when people enter the healing journey is really healing from the inside out.
[00:13:34] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Yes, there's a saying for it. It's called like crumbs. We, we move into the crumbs. It's a, it's more of the female side of it, but I think it's with the men's as well and when we move into that stage, we need to embrace it. We try so much to fight it by doing different hormone therapies or other ways, plastic surgery, things, you know, and again, it's all personal choice.
It's fine. We try to hold onto it with all of these external pieces. When I work with people and like you said, inside and out, it's embracing that time, but this is all natural evolution. And with this stage in life, embrace it because you're wiser and you are the person that people look to for the information.
And you are the one that has lived these experiences, we can share. And I always, always encourage people when you are of this age, if you've got grandkids, if you know of young adults or teenagers that you can mentor. Can you get time to do this and bring this life experience and this knowledge and this wisdom to these people, then on a deeper level, it heals, you really helps you embrace that aging.
And to be in owning who you are. I think that's the time in your life for the first time that you could own who you are and know who you are.
[00:15:01] Dana Frost: Yeah. So really embodying everything that's ever happened in your life up to this point, healing, whatever has happened, embodying it, owning it. And then what I hear you saying is sharing it with others.
[00:15:17] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Yes, absolutely. And I don't think people understand. That when you do the work and you'll do the work until the day you leave this planet until the day you died. And if you're willing to continue to work on yourself and continue to grow, as you're working through those tough spots, once you get past it, it's the sense of release.
Like it's this weight off your shoulders, it's this newer level of confidence in living your life. And then you go through the next level. So that's why you're going to just get better. And so many people lose sight of that.
[00:15:53] Dana Frost: What do you see when people really take on and harness that power of evolving?
[00:16:00] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Oh, it's kind of interesting because what I'll see is people will start second careers. They will get this inspiration to start a new business or do something of that nature. Some of them get into crafting or hobbying. They get a new zest for life. It's almost like I call that second half, and they're ready to just start living and they're not willing to live by other people's rules.
I teach people how to create their boundaries and they're happier. They're more confident. And the aha moments we'll see them have the aha moments it's priceless because you've got their life back and they are so empowered. It's incredible.
[00:16:42] Dana Frost: Yeah, that is really fun to witness. Have you ever experienced that in your life?
[00:16:47] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Oh yes, because I don't ask anybody to do what I haven't done and I have done a ton of work for years and it has led me to where I'm at today. I am forever grateful for the experiences I've had and I do continue to do the work. And are there bad days? Yes, we are all human. We're going to have our bad days, right.
But it's 'how do you get back on the horse' is the same. So you pull out your tool kit because I give everybody a toolkit, pull out your toolkit, revisit your toolkit and get yourself back in space again.
[00:17:21] Dana Frost: Yeah. What do you think is one of the tools like in my practice, there are a few tools that are just go to, you're going to use these tools every single day.
Can you just give us one of your tools that our listeners could utilize?
[00:17:35] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Oh, absolutely. One of my must tools, and I'd started about October of 2017, is I do not miss a day of meditation. It has changed my life, even if I only get five minutes in, it's five minutes. But that time to get quiet, quiet the mind.
And for some people, maybe it's more of a moving meditation. I do have clients where I have them doing meditation, but that time of centering and quiet has been the most healing and regenerative piece of my daily practice that I will not sacrifice at all. And is it for everybody? I can't say that, right.
We're all bio-individual but for me, that is a non-negotiable.
[00:18:20] Dana Frost: I really liked that. Where did you start with your meditation?
[00:18:24] Mary Beth Gudewicz: I signed up for a class and I learned different meditation techniques and found the ones that really resonated with me and I part of the class homework, so to speak, was we had to start meditating every day.
And once I started things, I noticed I was less reactive in life and calmer in thinking things through before I said, or did anything, my head felt clearer. Like I felt more focused and centered. I was always very good at listening to my body. So that wasn't one of my challenges, and I just felt overall more rested.
So for me, it was once I started, I couldn't stop. And I knew then that this was something I needed to do.
[00:19:15] Dana Frost: Wow. That's really beautiful. I've heard a lot of people say that Mary Beth, about meditation. It's a little bit like flossing, the mind.
[00:19:22] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Yes.
[00:19:23] Dana Frost: You know, getting in, it gives you that opportunity to get into the cracks and crevices and empty out all of the distractions.
I love that. Which meditation did you study? Any specific one Mary Beth?
[00:19:37] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Um, there was a couple of different types. Like she taught a lot of like either guided or silent meditations or bringing a problem or situation into a meditation and seeking an answer. So we got introduced to a lot of different types and we were able to find the pieces that worked.
[00:19:58] Dana Frost: I have so many things that I want to continue talking about. Mary Beth, one of the things I was really curious, the difference between men and women at this stage in life and what we see in women and what we see in men as they arrive at midlife and beyond, and face physical challenges. So what do you see with, in the differences between men and women?
[00:20:24] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Great question. Men, I see they notice their body is different. So they're like, I'm starting to get a little bit of a belly I never had before. I'm starting to notice. I just don't have the energy. Let's say they're in a hockey team that they play locally, they don't have the energy they used to. They notice that work that they need that afternoon caffeine pickup, because they just get really tired, low energy in the afternoon.
There's this more on a very physical level that they're like, I just know something, I don't want to feel like this. I want to, I want to get back to me. I want to be out there and living my life fully. And then on the flip side, what I see with women is the fatigue and the brain fog, but there's a lot of emotional pieces there.
Like I find I get angry really easy now at my kids or I notice that I'm more stressed than usual. And then when I get stressed, my brain shuts down, I can't think so. They notice these more, like different ways. They'll notice. I can't deal with my kids at times. It's just too overwhelming for me. I wake up and I'm just don't want to start my day.
And they noticed that from that point of view and yeah, they'll notice like maybe a little bit of weight gain. That's the weight shifting on them and stuff, but it really is a lot of that. I don't feel myself.
[00:21:47] Dana Frost: I see that too, with, for women, even though there may be physical stuff going on, the reference is really, um, the emotional experience.
And for men, it really is the physical performance, if you will. Tell me if this is your experience, that for women, there's this element of they've been selfless for so many years and they've been in service to others and it's time to take care of themselves and there's a struggle. And for men, the, what I see is the, the ego, the difficulty to let go for women, the difficulty in terms of stepping up to take care of themselves and for men, it's quieting the ego and allowing a different part of who they are to come forward.
[00:22:36] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Absolutely. And with the women, it's knowing that self care is not selfish. And with the men it's tapping into that emotional side, it's allowing yourself to explore that. Yeah, I find, you know, years ago I did the Myers-Briggs facilitation course. And one of the biggest things I took away from that is we have our personality type that is just who we are in many ways. It's do we lean extroversion? Do we lean introversion? Do we see big picture? Do we see details? Do we come to decisions quickly? Do we like to wait because we'd like to keep our options open? And so we operate with our personality and then we get to, as we mature, we get to midlife and really it's the opportunity to start exploring what we haven't leaned on.
[00:23:32] Dana Frost: So to be fully developed and fully mature, we have the opportunity then to explore areas of our life that may be haven't been utilized or haven't been as prominent because we've been relying on this personality type that has been easy, like fits like a glove it's who we are, it's who we know. And at this stage we can begin exploring ourselves in a different way.
[00:23:59] Mary Beth Gudewicz: That's the beauty of being in this age frame is now have the freedom to explore and see what kind of works for you. I love that. Okay. I want to just pause on that because I think that this is a key element to filling younger, growing older, we have the opportunities to explore other ways of being, I think that's what you said.
[00:24:21] Dana Frost: That's how we interpreted the opportunity to explore other ways of being. And we know from a functional brain perspective that when we do things a different way, for example, when we go a different route, when we're driving somewhere, when we learn a new language, When we learn a new skill, we're actually expanding the physical aspect of our brain.
We're growing new neural pathways. And so if we can approach aging, feeling younger, growing older, it's very much expanding our capacity for who we are as a human.
[00:25:01] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Exactly. And I had a great mentor and teacher that once told me. Every year, pick a new skill to learn, and it helps that brain continue to be working and to continue to be shifting and growing.
[00:25:12] Dana Frost: I love that. So my podcast in all transparency, I'm learning so many new things and you know, when we learn new things, we feel afraid. We feel nervous, we stumble. It's just like a child learning how to walk. You learn something new when you, you walk and then you fall and you get back up and. To have that child's mind as we grow older and allow ourselves to be in the seat of the learner.
I think as a powerful way to fill younger growers.
[00:25:45] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Exactly. It's almost like having that childhood all over again. You get to play and explore in your right to be fearful too. It's okay. We'll work through it.
[00:25:56] Dana Frost: Yeah. I think that nobody likes to experience the emotions that are uncomfortable, but so many times they are our greatest teachers.
Absolutely. Again, it goes back to that this conversation has been so rich and I'm just kind of allowing my brain to assimilate the conversations that we've had in the past. And then just thinking about this conversations we've had right now and thinking about our listeners take aways. And I don't know if you have any final comments, anything else that you, you did mention something the Sandwich Years?
I think we do need to touch on the Sandwich Years because this is something a lot of people face at this stage in life.
[00:26:44] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Yes. So the Sandwich Years are the years where you've got the children that are getting ready to fly the nest and you've got the parents that need you a little bit more in their life.
They're kind of going through that end of life. And when you're in the middle of it, it's not easy. Okay. Let's acknowledge it and there'll be good days and there'll be bad days with it. But one of the things I'm learning as I'm living it, and what I also teach to people, is find that moment in the day to do something fun.
If you can find one moment each day and it can be no longer than 15 minutes to do something fun. That's fun for you. It can be reading a chapter of your favorite book. It can be sitting out in the sunshine. It can be whatever it is for you. It doesn't have to be anything big or huge, but if you can take one moment each day to do something fun and bring yourself more back into that present moment, it's going to help you deal with the moments that get to be a little overwhelming.
[00:27:43] Dana Frost: The demands because you've got demands coming from both sides and maybe you've also got your career. So you're surrounded with demands. I always call those islands of respite.
[00:27:53] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Oh, I love that. Yes.
[00:27:55] Dana Frost: The island of respite, it can be five minutes. It really depends upon the situation, but you have to find that island where it can be fun.
It w whatever it is it's going to fill you. I also described it as 'take a nod towards yourself'. If even for a moment, just acknowledge, see yourself for a moment when you're in those times, when you are the constant caregiver, you know, whether it's on a sandwich in between children and parents or job and parents, or job children and parents, or children and jobs.
[00:28:31] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Exactly. And it's so important because it brings you back to your equilibrium. You're centering.
[00:28:38] Dana Frost: Yeah, and you know what our soul and our body, they recognize when we turn our eyes and word and be present, the soul knows the body knows, and I find they reward us with feeling better. They reward us with just this deep sense of sigh, relief, pleasure, joy.
[00:29:01] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Exactly. And when you can have that time to connect back with your soul, it's that sense of peace that comes back.
[00:29:08] Dana Frost: Exactly. Yeah. And that piece is feeling younger, growing older. That is the mindset there's, you know, we could talk for hours on this because there are so many different elements and layers to it.
So Mary Beth, can you tell me what does feeling younger, growing older mean to you?
[00:29:27] Mary Beth Gudewicz: What that means to me is that what's external. It's the ability to bring it within yourself and to not look at it as selfish but looking at it as something that's healthy and vital to your overall being. So it's living from within yourself and do the work every day.
And that is what's going to keep you young.
[00:29:52] Dana Frost: It's going to keep you feeling younger, growing older. I love that. Well, Mary Beth, where can people find you? I know that you have a group soulawakening.com.
[00:30:03] Mary Beth Gudewicz: Our website will be up and going this fall. And then my website is bellanutritionservices.com. You're on Instagram, too, Bella.
So people need to remember Bella Nutrition Services. We'll have it in the show notes and I want to thank you so much for joining us and speaking into the healing journey, midlife and beyond. And thank you everybody for being with us today on the vital you a podcast with Mary Beth Gudewicz.